Home, Pets, and Children After a Death
After a loved one passes, there may still be children to care for, pets to feed, meals and school schedules to manage, and a home that needs attention. You don’t have to solve everything at once.
Start with what keeps people and pets safe and cared for. Most of the rest, like belongings, closets, and big household decisions, can wait.
The things that can’t wait
- Children have a safe adult caring for them
- Someone knows where they need to be, and when
- Food, medication, clothing, and sleep are covered
- School or childcare knows, if needed
- Food and water
- Medications, if needed
- Walks, litter boxes, or cages
- A plan if their usual caregiver can’t be there
- Doors locked, property secure
- Someone checks on it if the family is away
- Urgent problems, like a leak or no heat, handled
When children are involved
Children may understand and respond to death differently depending on their age, their relationship with the person, and the circumstances. There isn’t one right way for a child to react. Whatever their age, they may need a familiar adult nearby, simple explanations, normal routines where possible, and room to ask questions more than once.
Keep explanations simple and honest
Plain words are often easier to understand than softer ones. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that phrases like “went to sleep” or “passed away” can confuse children, especially younger ones.
One example of clear language: “Grandpa died. His body stopped working, and he isn’t coming back.” This isn’t a script. Use words that fit your child. Listening often matters more than the perfect words.
School and childcare
- Tell the teacher, school counselor, or daycare, if needed, and who the child’s contact person is for now
- Ask what support is available
- Keep important routines as steady as you can
- Let the child know it’s okay to talk about the person who died
For emotional support, see grief and support. The Sharing Place runs free grief groups for children and teens in the Salt Lake area.
What to do with pets when the owner dies
If the person who died cared for a pet, someone needs to step in, even just for now: a family member, friend, neighbor, pet sitter, or boarding facility. Their veterinarian can offer guidance.
- Cover food, water, medication, exercise, and litter or yard care
- Find veterinary records and medications
- Look for any written instructions about the pet
A temporary plan is enough for now. Longer-term decisions can wait until the family has had time to think.
If the person who died was the children’s caregiver
Identify the adult caring for them right now, reach out to family and your support network, and tell the school or childcare. If there’s any question about custody or guardianship of a child, get legal guidance rather than guessing. The Utah Courts Self-Help Center offers free legal information, and Utah Courts explains guardianship of a minor child.
The house and the everyday things
Lock doors, make sure heating or cooling works, handle urgent repairs, collect mail, deal with food or medication that needs attention, and have someone check the home if the family is away.
It can help to decide who is handling each of these, even for a week or two: meals and groceries, school and childcare, work schedules, rides, medication, pets, urgent bills, mail, home security, appointments, and keeping family informed.
Some things can wait
- Sorting closets or cleaning out their room
- Deciding what to keep or donate
- Going through photos and keepsakes
- Large household projects
- Permanent decisions about pets
- Non-urgent paperwork
Some belongings may have financial or legal significance. You can gather important papers without deciding about everything else. For property and debts, see estate and probate basics. More on timing: what can wait.
For today
- Children have a safe adult caring for them.
- Pets have food, water, medication, and care.
- The home is secure and urgent needs are handled.
- School or daycare knows, if necessary.
- Someone is handling rides and schedules.
- Accept practical help from family or friends.
For local help in Utah, 211 Utah connects people with community resources: dial 211.
“What needs to happen today to keep the people, pets, and home safe and cared for, and what can wait?”
Ready to see how these choices apply to your situation?
Your Wayfinder Plan can help organize the options you’re considering and give you a clearer picture of what to ask and compare.
Build My Wayfinder Plan- Talking with children: American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org); Children’s Hospital Colorado.
- Pet care plans: ASPCA, Making a Plan for Your Pet.
- Guardianship: Utah Courts, Guardianship of a Minor Child.
- Children’s grief groups: The Sharing Place. Community resources: 211 Utah.
This page is general information, not legal, financial, or medical advice.