You don’t have to decide everything today.
Some things need attention quickly. A lot of the bigger decisions can wait. Here’s how to tell the difference, and where to go for each one.
You usually don’t need to choose every funeral detail right away. Start with what has an actual deadline, then give yourself time for the decisions that need more thought. A few things are time-sensitive and depend on your situation. Most of the rest can wait until you understand your options, talk with your family, and know what you want.
- Making sure your loved one is being cared for
- Contacting hospice, the hospital, the care facility, or emergency services, depending on where the death happened
- Arranging transportation, if it hasn’t already been handled
- Checking for prepaid arrangements or written wishes
- Taking care of children, pets, or the home
If the death just happened, start with What to Do When Someone Dies: A Checklist, or see Who to Call When Someone Dies at Home.
What can often wait
Many decisions feel urgent when you’re grieving, but they may not have to be made immediately. You can often take more time with these.
Casket or urn
Ask about your options and prices first. You don’t have to choose one the moment you sit down.
Flowers
There usually isn’t a need to arrange these immediately.
Obituary
Take time to gather information and decide what you want to say.
Service details
Start with the major decisions. Fill in the smaller details once you understand your options.
Memorial products
Cards, videos, keepsakes, and register books can often be decided later.
Headstone or marker
Timing can depend on the cemetery and burial arrangements. Ask the cemetery when one needs to be ordered.
Some decisions depend on your situation
Timing can change depending on where the death happened, burial or cremation, the cemetery or crematory, religious or cultural practices, whether arrangements were prepaid, and whether another state or country is involved. If a cemetery hasn’t been chosen yet, you may have time to compare options, but ask whether a burial date is already being scheduled. If your family’s traditions call for burial soon after death, tell your provider right away.
Some things have real deadlines
Care of the body, permits, and paperwork have to happen on a timeline, whether or not burial or cremation happens right away. Utah’s preservation rule says a body held more than 24 hours after death, while awaiting burial or cremation, must be kept at 40°F or colder or be embalmed. The death certificate has to be filed within five days.
Estate, insurance, and financial matters vary. Some can wait and others can’t, so don’t assume either way. See Paperwork After a Death for the death certificate timeline, who to notify, and what each copy is for.
Before you put something off, ask yourself
- Does this have a deadline?
- What happens if I wait?
- Is there an extra cost if I wait?
- Do I need to decide this before choosing a package?
- Can I take some time to think about it?
Questions to ask your funeral home or provider
Before you agree to anything, you can ask what needs to be decided today, what can wait, and whether waiting changes the price. The full list, including the FTC Funeral Rule rights that back these questions up and the red flags worth a follow-up question, is in Questions to Ask a Funeral Home, with a printable version.